Bonedaddy and a Wannabe Witch
by Ms. Donovan and Ms. Midnight
Summary: It's the end of the movie, and Halloweentown returns to...well, sort of normalacy. When a Christmas elf stumbles face first into the scarecrow sign, it can only mean one thing: that she's gonna be a witch.
1. And So It Begins

**Whoot! Contest of DOOM!  
**

**And even better, it's Nightmare Before Christmas! Squee!  
**

**Okay, all the JackSally shippers are going to lynch me, but here it goes!**

**Roll it, Louie!

* * *

**"**And sit together, now and forever, for it is plain as anyone can see, we're simply meant to be.**"

Jack leaned in and took the beautiful rag doll in his arms. She fit perfectly, just as he'd always imagined. They kissed.

A deafening pause held the scene for about five long seconds.

"Annnnd…cut! Okay, folks, that's a wrap! Great job, everybody!" Mr. Burton called, enthusiastically slapping Behemoth on the shoulder. The large dead man was currently in a whispered literary discussion with the three Mr. Hydes.

Sally wasted no time in disentangling herself from Jack. She smoothed down the front of her dress as Mr. Burton came over to the Pumpkin King.

"By the way, thank you again, Jack for granting us permission to use your town as the set. It really adds to the realistic feel!"

"Not at all, Mr. Burton; I hope this will be good publicity for the holidays!" Jack said.

"Well, we'll begin cleaning up and be out of your way by tomorrow morning. You'll receive your payments when the movie comes out!"

"Good bye!" Jack waved to the retreating figure of the "real" man. He noticed Sally looking off into the direction of town.

"Uhm…say, Sally?" Jack asked the pretty rag doll in front of him. "Would you like to go out for a drink? I know a very good place…the werewolf runs it…"

"Oh…I'm sorry Jack," Sally said, not really looking that sorry. "I promised Ichabod that I would meet him."

"Oh…well. Another time then?"

"Mmm, I'm going to be out of town for a while," Sally said, already heading toward town. "It was…fun, Jack."

Jack watched Sally walk toward the town. He sat down on the hill and watched the yellow moon, absent-mindedly petting Zero.

The vampires and their animal magnetism. They always get the girls.

* * *

Meanwhile, a Christmas elf ran smack-dab into the scarecrow sign.

"Halloweentown," she read slowly. She skipped along the path of the graveyard into town. The elf, whose name was Kesy, began singing.

"**What's this? What's this? There's no color anywhere.**

**What's this? What's this? There's bat wings in the air.**

**What's this? I can't believe my eyes, I must be dreaming, wake up, Kes, this isn't fair! What's this?**" the pretty, pointy-nosed elf sang joyously.

"**What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong! What's this? What's this? There's no one singing songs!**

**What's this? The streets are lined with little creatures laughing!**

**Everybody seems so happy! Have I possibly gone daffy? What is this?**

**What's this?**

**There aren't children throwing balls here, instead they're throwing heads**

**They're busy scaring humans and everybody's dead!**

**There are webs in every window! Oh, I can't believe my eyes! And in my bones I feel the dark that's coming from inside.**" Kesy leaned heavily against the town hall. Suddenly, her eyes popped open.

"**Oh, look: what's this? They're cooking eyeballs now, they eat!**

**Why that looks so unique, inspired! They're gathering around to hear a story, roasting entrails on a fire.**

**What's this?**

**What's this?**

**In here they've got a little corpse, how queer**

**And who would ever think**

**And why?**

**They're wrapping it in bandages. They've got tiny skulls on strings! And there's a smile on everyone!**

**So, now, correct me if I'm wrong: this looks like fun! This looks like fun!**

**Oh, could it be I got my wish?**

**What's this?**" Kesy slipped into the corpse child's bedroom.

"**Oh my, what now?**

**The child is asleep, but look, there's something underneath!**

**A ghoul, a witch here to scream and scare them or ensnare them, that little cozy thing insecure inside his dreamland**

**What's this?**" The elf slipped back out the window, to hear the child give a delighted cry of "Uncle!"

"**The monsters are all here now and the cookies can't be found and in their place there seems to be frank terror all around!**

**Instead of music, I swear I can hear screaming in the air! The smell of fear and flies is absolutely everywhere! **

**The sights, the sounds! They're everywhere and all around! I've never felt so good before!**

**This empty place inside of me is filling up!**

**I simply cannot get enough!**

**I want it, oh, I want it, oh, I want it for my own!**

**I've got to know!**

**I've got to know!**

**What is this place that I have found?**

**What is this?**"

The elf ceased her joyous rampage to let the name roll off of her tongue.

"Halloweentown."

She looked left. She looked right. Kesy took off her elf hat and ripped the silly pom-pom off of the pointed end. She turned it inside out so that the darker inner fabric splayed out. Kesy bent the tip, plunked it on her head, and ripped the pom-poms off of her shoes.

Then, she went to find a house, a soup bowl, and a book of potions.

* * *

Jack sighed as he looked out from his tower. The same old Halloween Town stared bleakly back at him. And instead of his expected (and routine) melancholy feeling, he was attacked by boredom.

Jack had never been bored before. He was either acting for Mr. Burton, or preparing for the next scare. Jack walked down from his tower, hoping that there he might find a cure for the nagging boredom.

Unfortunately, nothing in his lower rooms really presented itself as interesting. Maybe a walk through the town would do it.

Or not. Jack was still bored after he had walked through every street, boulevard, and back alley. He had hopped from green cobblestone to green cobblestone, black cobblestone to black cobblestone, and brown cobblestone to brown cobblestone, earning several odd looks in the process, and still nothing screamed, "Not Boring!" at him.

That is, until he tripped over something.

"Excuse me!" Jack looked around to see who was talking.

"Who? Is that you?"

"Uh, no? I'm down here." The something that Jack had tripped over jumped up and waved its arms.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to trip over you. Are you alright?" The little woman leaned back slightly to be able to see him. She seemed to be about two feet tall. And squeaky. "You're not from around here, are you?"

The tiny woman stared at Jack, then, her eyes still on him, she pointed to her dark green and –inside out? - pointy hat. "I'm a witch."

Jack bent from the waist to look the so-called witch in the face. She leaned away from his face slightly. He looked long and hard into her green eyes, and identified the unmistakable look of magic, and happy malice.

"Ah," he said, "so you are."

"I am! Wait a minute…I am?" The witch looked confused. "You're the first person to tell me I'm not not a witch."

Jack blinked three times, closed his eyes and shook his head, blinked, and nodded as he got what she was trying to say.

"Umm…excuse me? Could you please lean back? I'm about to fall over," the witch said.

"Oh, sorry," Jack said, as his spine snapped ram-rod straight again. "Well, then, good luck with… witching. Oh, and there's a town meeting tonight, at midnight. You should come." Jack smiled awkwardly.

"Of course, Mister…."

"Skellington. Jack Skellington."

The witch's eyes widened, so much that she had to blink to keep them in her head. "Jack Skellington? The _king _of Halloweentown?"

"Unless I've been usurped."

"Wow."

"I'm sorry?"

"Let me rephrase that: woooooowwwwwww. You're…not…that scary."

"I'm insulted!" Jack pulled a face of mock indignation.

"Sorry. Uh, sir, do you know somewhere where there's available housing?"

Jack thought. "Perhaps above one of the shops, or in the residential area…the residential area is probably cheaper."

"Money isn't an issue."

"Ah. Then above one of the shop is a good bet for if you want to be in the center of things, or the residential area for privacy, or you could buy a shop and set up there."

"Thank you. I appreciate it. By the way, my name's Kesy…Mc…Claw."

Kesy scampered off, carrying a soup bowl behind her.

The pumpkin king smiled, clasped his hands behind his back, and walked back to his tower to read. Boredom was no longer an issue.

* * *

"The milk of a blue apple…" in the soup bowl.

"Four sprigs black parsley…" in the soup bowl.

"A half-ounce of spider blood…" in the soup bowl.

"Stir four times clockwise…" stir, stir, stir, stir…

"And drink." Gulp. Sproing.

"OW! I hit my head on the chandelier!"

* * *

**So there you have it. First chapter, much more to come! (Mostly because the las bit probably didn't make a lick of sense, but still...)**

**Review and I'll have the next one up soon! **


	2. Size Issues

**Yay! Chapter 2!  
**

**Okay, since I forgot: I own nothing but my OC and the story. The universe and other characters belong to Tim Burton, the lucky sap.**

**Roll it, Louie!

* * *

**The first thing that Kesy noticed was how far away the ground looked. The second was how small her clothing suddenly was, and the third thing was that she was taller.

"Hoo-sha!" the ex-elf exclaimed, pumping her fist in the air and pulling it back down. She looked at the cauldron that was sitting next to the soup bowl. Kesy had asked one of the deliverers to help her carry it into her house.

The ex-elf bent from the waist and just barely touched the rim of the cauldron with her fingertips. "Ha-HA! Kicked your metal ass!" she exclaimed proudly.

As Kesy straightened herself again, she became aware that the chandelier was now at least three feet above her head, which she took to mean that she had used too much black parsley and too little spider blood, but the two had straightened themselves to a happy medium so all's well that ends well and gee, her clothes would need some adjustment.

A few pages in a spell book turned and four incantations later, Kesy had a perfectly respectable black robe, wide brimmed witch's hat, a pair of hobnailed boots and a pair of striped stockings.

Now that she was clothed, housed, and decently sized, Kesy set about with a ball of yarn to make her fortune.

* * *

To explain to the lovely readers what has just happened, we shall take a moment to explain the flying leap the writer made over the time-space continuum, shredding the fabric of reality quite nicely and generally mucking things up quite a bit. 

Kesy, the ex-elf, has managed to find housing, a soup bowl, a spell book, and a cauldron by using an inter-holidarity¹ form of currency. The lucret is a survivor of a time when the holidays communicated and people hopped from one holiday to another.

Needless to mention, this is not done any longer, not because it is frowned upon, but simply because nobody knows that there are other holidays anymore; the knowledge seemed to simply fade away throughout the passing of history. Mr. Burton's film opened the eyes of much of the holiday worlds. Or at least Christmas and Halloween. But that really isn't the point.

The lucret is still honored as currency in each of the holiday worlds, with each holiday thinking that it is exclusive to them. (In addition to lucrets, each holiday has a form of currency that actually _is_ exclusive to them: Christmas happens to use pinecones, proof that money does, in fact, grow on trees. Halloween has bat wings.)

Kesy had this money due to the one bit of common sense she ever picked up: never leave home without a few lucrets tucked into your hat. As a general fact, a half a lucret is enough to buy you a hearty meal just about anywhere. Kesy had about twenty lucrets tucked into the linings of her hat, which should give you an idea of how strong and tall her hat must have been to support that much money, and how much twenty lucrets is worth.

The housing was rented for a few days, but as business picked up, Kesy was sure that the house would be hers by the end of two years. Kesy's new home was furnished and was rented from a rather pleasant, if grotesque, zombie in the residential section.

Kesy brewed the soup bowl concoction was to make herself taller, which most have already grasped by now.

Now that things have been nicely cleared up, on with the story.

* * *

Kesy walked out of her house at three minutes to midnight. Well, she actually dashed out the door and almost forgot to lock it. Sprinting through the winding lanes, Kesy nearly took a grievous wrong turn that would have resulted in her body being sliced in half. Just as the town clock bonged the twelfth hour, Kesy collapsed into a pew in the back of the Town Hall. 

"Dearly deceased citizens of Halloweentown," the Mayor began with the smiling side of his face turned to the audience. "The schedule for this evening is rather crowded, so I shall let Jack get right to it."

"Thank you, Mayor," Jack said, as he stepped up to the podium. "First of all, I would like to compliment all of Halloweentown for their exquisite performance! The funds from the film will be extremely beneficial to the entire town. Towards the end of the meeting, there will be time to discuss ideas for the use of the money.

"As for now, I would like to welcome the new citizens of Halloweentown."

The audience looked rather puzzled and began looking around for whoever was the new person was. A small mummy child with one eye was the first to spot Kesy, and he elbowed his friend in the side and pointed at the witch.

Pulling the brim of her hat down slightly, Kesy tried to blend in with her surrounding so fiercely that she would have made a brilliant chameleon.

When Jack pulled the attention back to the stage, Kesy was still aware of the eyes on her.

The meeting continued through various complainants and announcements, finally ending with different ideas on the proper use of the money. Finally, Kesy gently poked up the brim of her hat, and took a close look at her surroundings.

There were distorted zombies all around her. A tree with skeletons hanging from its branches stood in the back, about ten feet away from her. Two witches much shorter than her were sitting in the front of the room, and a lady from the swamp was in the middle of the room. A few ghosts hung in the rafters. Kesy's face broke into a grin.

As soon as the meeting was dismissed, Kesy made a dash for the door. Unfortunately, a slow moving man with an axe sticking out his head blocked her path. Kesy's spine snapped straight as a fire poker when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Fully prepared to wrench somebody's arm out of its socket, Kesy spun around. Then she looked up. Then she smiled.

"Hello, your Majesty!" the witch said happily.

"Hello, miss; I was wondering if you've seen a short…witch…" the Pumpkin King trailed off.

"No. But I've seen a tall witch," Kesy replied, pointing at her hat.

"You got your hands on a spellbook, then?" Jack asked. "I was looking for you in the crowd."

"Awww. I'm touched. I was trying not to be looked at."

"Well, I'm glad you came, Ms…McClaw?"

"I'm happy I came, too, despite all the attention I've attracted. I'm just glad nobody pulled me over…well, besides you, at least. You're certainly quite popular around here, aren't you?"

"Eh…I suppose it comes with the job," Jack smiled.

"It was wonderful talking to you again, your Majesty. Do pop in sometime," Kesy said, flashing a charming smile and making to depart through the creaky door.

"Call me Jack," the leader of Halloweentown said.

The witch turned around and said, "Call me Kesy." Flashing another charming smile, Kesy stepped through the door.

The Pumpkin King tilted his head curiously, but the Mayor's requests for assistance pulled him back to reality as the attractive witch waltzed through the town.

* * *

**¹ for all intensive purposes, inter-holidarity is now a word**

**Sorry for the crap-a-licious explanation. If you actually read it, some of it's sorta funny. Forgive it, and plese don't tell me it was (a) awful, or (b) needs to be tinkered with. **

**Okay, there you have it! **

**Review, please! ****  
**


	3. Man Eater

**Okay, folks. Sorry it's so late, and so short. I've had a bit of a hard week, but I managed to get my ass in gear to write a chapter. Hope you enjoy!**

**Roll it, Louie!

* * *

**The following day, Jack wandered around the town. He would need to see the mayor at ten o'clock, but that was still about fifteen minutes off.

Suddenly, he became aware of a tiny pink thing that was hanging from his trouser leg and snarling. Jack kicked his leg slightly, but the thing didn't let off. A tinkling giggle echoed in the morning air, and Jack looked around for its source. He saw nothing.

The little pink ball looked up at his with bloodshot eyes and bared its formidable teeth. It growled, a huge deep sound for such a tiny thing.

Jack kicked his leg once again, intending to throw the thing off and step on it. The laughter came form behind a corner. Jack took his eyes off of the pink ball and trained them onto the corner of the building.

A witch appeared from around it, her pine-green eyes twinkling and her arms wrapped around her stomach. Kesy put two fingers into her mouth and blew four sharp notes, and the little pink ball came bounding towards her.

"Sorry, Jack," Kesy said, her face lit up with amusement, the pink ball bouncing up and down in her hand. "I had Wilfred attack whatever was around the corner."

"Do mind telling me what it is?" Jack asked, after checking to see that Wilfred hadn't cut a tear in his trousers.

"Man-eating pom-pom."

"I'm sorry?"

"Wilfred is a man-eating pom-pom. My…coven was made up of creatures that put pom-poms on everything; they even taught the girls how to make them. So I figured that I might as well use the only craft I've ever been good at to make my fortune. They're a little simple-minded, and Wilfred is the only prototype I've been able to make attack."

"Interesting. How many other prototypes are there?" Jack asked. Kesy jerked a thumb behind her, were dozens of deactivated pom-poms were stacked a pile. She picked up a blue one.

"This one only wanted to back cookies. I reckon that if you throw a few of these underneath a kid's bed, he won't sleep for a week."

Jack laughed. This eccentric girl had a messy sort of happiness and general darkly positive outlook that was contagious. It was like someone walking up to you, shaking your hand, introducing themselves, and telling you that their aunt was ill with chicken pox because she'd eaten an elephant.

Kesy was the sort of person who made you do a double take and say, "What the-!"

It was endearing.

Kesy smiled. She liked the pumpkin king's laugh. It was high, but with a slight bass tone that was distinctly male (all those Christmas carols had taught her something about music), unlike all the voices of the elves in Christmas Town.

"Wilfred," she said, looking down at the pink ball that looked adoringly up at its creator, "be a dear and try to remember not to bite royalty…unless it's a prince. Or a human king. Or a prince of darkness, or…well, you get the point."

"Don't bite anyone unless you wind up on their bed," Jack supplied. Kesy shot him a smile.

Wilfred bounced happily and Kesy sent him on the ground. He went to go sleep near his brethren.

"What brings you out at this time of morning, o Pumpkin King?" Kesy asked, leaning against a mold-covered wall.

"Just making the rounds. I need to be at the Town Hall in…ten minutes," Jack said, looking at the clock in the center of the Residential Area.

"Oh? Plans for Halloween, eh?"

"Exactly. Can I put you down for anything?"

Kesy looked thoughtful. "Put me down for three dozen man-eating pom-poms, along with general witchery. And grave dancing. Jolly good fun, that."

Grave dancing was a rather obscure practice which involved choosing a victim, making certain that they were close to a tombstone, enchanting their name on it, and- guess what- dancing on the grave. The trick was to look like a figment of their imagination, but it never failed to put a shriek in their throat when done correctly.

Slightly sadistic, yes, but jolly good fun.

"Ah! Starting out large, I see! All right, a four-forty-three, two-ninety-six, and…" Jack thought for a moment, muttering. "Carry the pom-pom…divide by thirteen…and a five-eighty-one."

"Cool! I get a new number!" Kesy looked very pleased, and Jack couldn't help but smile.

"Well, be prepared. Three months flies by like no time at all!" the Pumpkin King cautioned the witch.

"Good point. I'd better get started on those pom-poms, then, huh?" Kesy responded.

She scooped the dormant pom-poms into her arms. Wilfred remained on the ground, yawning to expose his sharp teeth. "Come along, Wilfred." Turning to Jack, she smiled.

"See you around, Your Majesty!"

"Good day, Kesy. Enjoy your week!" Jack said, as the witch walked away.

The Pumpkin King stood rooted to the spot for a while after Kesy left. The witch was decidedly unlike anyone he had ever encountered. He couldn't quite place his finger on it, and every time he tried, she managed to evade description.

Jack shook himself, glimpsed at the time, and ran to Town Hall.

* * *

**There you have it! Three months fly by, meaning that the writer'll hit the ol' fast forward button and soon Kesy shall be engaging in her first Halloween.**

**Reviews make me smile. And boy, do I need to smile.  
**


	4. Halloween is Lovely This Time of Year

**I'm afraid this one's a wee bit short, but oh well. I'm trying to be an example to certain peoples. ((Ahem)) You know who you are. Pay attention! Follow mine explain, youse!  
**

**Hope you enjoy! **

**Roll it, Louie!

* * *

**To describe the atmosphere would be futile. There were only snippets of reality. Light, sound, color. Texture. Laughter.

Screams.

Candy!

Kesy was picked up and swept away. She spun, leaped, two-stepped, laughed, dipped, and curtsied over tombstones in the real world cemeteries. She slipped through shadows and cackled madly. By repeating a phrase, she received candy. She reveled in the screams.

She flew.

Halloween, she would reflect later, was absolutely intoxicating. The moon was in waxing gibbous, which, at the beginning of the night, she thought was a bit of a disappointment. Kesy had been expecting something like a crescent or new moon to be properly Halloween-y.

That hadn't made any difference. Kesy had entered the town with the vampires and other witches, riding on a broomstick she had just enchanted that afternoon. The others parted company and left her hovering above the real suburb. Kesy thought she heard Jack's laugh somewhere in the neighborhood.

Fifty feet above the unforgiving asphalt, Kesy went into a straight nosedive.

Later, listening to the chatter of children passing a graveyard, she enchanted a headstone and set to work. Underneath an old tree, she contorted her limbs in ways she didn't know were possible and danced. Wildly, thoughtlessly, she blazed energy through her veins, scorching her nerves and sending whiplashes of excitement through her body. She heard screams, and the pound of feet. She laughed.

The icing on the cake was her pom-poms. She slipped them under beds and watched as they woke the children with their growling. They screamed as the little pieces of yarn nibbled on them, and breathed heavily and shuddered when the little nightmares disappeared without a trace. They looked with astonishment at their bodies, where the terrors should have bitten.

They worried that there wasn't a trace, or ever even any pain.

Kesy was alive. She could feel it brimming within her, the soul that had been lying dormant for all the years she spent singing carols without actually singing, baking cookies without really baking, decoration trees but knowing her heart had never been in it.

When the whole town returned triumphant, singing, she had joined in. Her voice was high and broken-sounding, defying all the chords that the music teachers in Christmas town had tried to lock her into. For it's brokenness, it was all the more beautiful.

She had felt something entirely new that night, as well. When Jack had entered the town, sitting like a scarecrow, she hadn't recognized him. When he began to dance, it clicked. He leaned down close to her, swooping past her and the folk around her. For a single moment, she felt the fire burning his costume, and a scream sprouted up like a black weed from her heart and grew in her lungs and dashed up the pipe of her throat and flew out of her mouth, the most complete scream of exhilaration she had ever made.

After the parade, she saw that Jack was busy with the females of Halloweentown and sat at the fountain, swirling her hand in the green water and trying to catch her breath.

The Mayor started calling for awards. He called Kesy up, and she stood on the platform, looking confused and disheveled.

"For the most original scare," the politician crowed, holding up the awards and giving it to the witch. Kesy took it, held it in her hands, and then raised it above her head, grinning. She spied Jack towards the back. He winked at her.

Kesy got down and found a bench to sit on. She took a big, shuddering breath, and smiled.

She had to be helped home.

* * *

Jack escorted the half-conscious witch home. Kesy yawned, and walked with her eyes closed. When it had become apparent to him that the witch would soon fall asleep on the bench, he had asked if she needed assistance. Kesy had given him a sleepy "Uh huh," and stood up, only to have to sit back down. Then she got up again, swayed, and found her center of gravity. 

So now they were walking through the residential section. She was leaning against him slightly, and whispered "Nearly there," and "Mmm…take a left here."

He recalled the scream that she had let loose. It was impressive, to say the least. For a moment, he had been worried if he had really knocked her out of her gourd, because she was grinning. But when he had gotten a good look at her later, it was clear that she was better than okay.

In all his years of scaring, he could swear that he'd never heard anyone scream like Kesy did. She had screamed without a trace of fear.

He had checked up on her earlier in the night when he took a brief break from scaring. Kesy had been in the graveyard, and she was doing a very good job of scaring people with her dancing.

Soon they stood in front of her doorstep. Jack tapped her on the shoulder, and watched as she smiled, and, eyes closed, walked up to the door.

"Thank you, Mr…" she said in a sleepy voice, her eyes still closed.

Her hat was bent and on crooked, her hair was tousled, her trophy hung from her fingers in a way that suggested that it was about to fall, she was sweaty and swaying slightly, and she was wearing a lopsided smile that was coated in smeared black lipstick. Jack thought he had never seen anything prettier.

"Pumpkin King," he said with a grin. Kesy's eyes shot open, and for a brief moment, she seemed totally awake.

Then, she yawned massively, and smiled. "Thanks, Jack," she whispered, and entered her house.

Then she opened the door, and tossed something at him.

"Happy Halloween," she said, and closed the door with a half-awake wink.

Jack caught it and stared at his palm. A package of things called "Smarties" rested there.

"Happy Halloween," he whispered, and heading home, whistling softly.

* * *

**Whoofa. Well, I hope-y you like-y'd. **

**Please review. They are wonderful, shiny things! **


	5. Business is Booming

**Guess who's back, back, back, back again, gain, gain...**

**I hate that song. But still. Didja miss me?**

**Didn't think so. Anyhoo, I've got a new chappie! Yay!**

**Roll it, Louie!

* * *

**Kesy woke up on her sofa. For a discombobulated forty seconds, she tried to reach through the candy hangover and the desire to kill anything that provided light or made noise to figure out (a) where she was, (b) whether or not she was in one piece, (c) if she was still Kesy and had not taken a vacation in another person because, gee, the weather is lovely there this time of year, and (d) why she had a candy hangover.

Rolling over onto her back, Kesy stared at the ceiling with her left eye close, then her right eye closed, trying to get some power over her body. When she was sufficiently sure that she was able to see, she rolled over onto her side to look at the coffee table. Kesy stared at her hat. Strange magical vibrations were resonating from the black headdress. It felt like the hat was holding something back.

"_Release_," Kesy muttered at the hat, her voice croaking with lack of use. The hat shuddered, then stood still. Kesy reached over and gingerly picked it up by the point.

A waterfall of candy fell from the hat, and kept coming. Kesy stared in astonishment as the torrent of sweets fell to the floor, building a small mountain. When the pile was about two feet tall, the hat fell limp.

"Huh," Kesy finally said, "I got more candy than I thought."

Shrugging, the witch went to the bathroom, where she kissed the porcelain goddess, took a shower, and brushed her teeth. A small hangover-curing potion later, Kesy stood on her front porch, stretching like a cat.

Looking around at the street, she noticed that her neighbors were very…well, for lack of better term, lively this morning. The avenue bustled with zombies talking and laughing, witches cackling, and the vampire brothers floating along sedately, four black umbrellas brandished in the air. One of the brothers lagged behind slightly, flirting with an attractive rag doll who had stars in her eyes.

A demon with no back to her neck came up to Kesy, quickly looking at the sign the witch had erected advertising her wares.

"You're the one who won the award for most original scare?" the demon asked.

"Yes, madam. Are you interested in buying one of my pom-poms?" Kesy replied. Suddenly, the demon's hand shot out and grabbed Kesy's chin, hauling her down so that the witch's face was eye level with the demon's. Fighting the urge to punch the demon into next Tuesday, Kesy remained as still as she could, idly wondering what in the name of Goddess was going on.

"Hm…eyes of piney-pins¹, hair of…right! Tree bark…lips of blood…and skin like…wossname…snow!" the demon muttered, letting go of Kesy's face. The witch quickly moved three steps backward. "Aren't you a pretty one?" the demon continued, without any trace of ill will. "Some of the lads around here are saying that you've got looks like that. They're right. I never had any doubt, of course," the demon quickly added.

"Madam, either buy something or get away from my house," Kesy said, deciding that pleasantries wouldn't get her anywhere. It worked; the demon cracked a sharp-toothed smile.

"Little live wire, ain't cha? Anyhow, my nephew's got a birthday and he wants a pet. Do you have something in green, oozing mayhaps?"

"I'm sure I do somewhere." Kesy let out a long, shrill whistle and called into the house, "Oy, Sir Yucks-a-Lot! Come on outside, terror!"

A lime-colored oozing ball of fuzz and teeth bounced out onto the porch, yipping like a puppy. Kesy held out her hand and Sir Yucks-a-Lot bounced on.

"This little chap should be fine. If he grows any larger, he'll only reach 7 centimeters in diameter. Don't feed him or water him; it'll ruin his color," Kesy said, holding the little monster out to the demon, whose face lit up.

"Oh, he's a terrifying little monstrosity! Oh, he's absolutely wretched! He'll be terrible! This is horrible!" the demon said happily as the pom-pom chewed on her arm. "How much are you asking for him?"

"Hmm…how about six bat wings²?" Kesy said. The demon happily handed over the currency and Kesy stuck a blood-red bow on Sir Yucks-a-Lot's head. Sniffling and slightly teary-eyed, Kesy waved as Sir Yucks-a-Lot disappeared into the crowd.

Breathing in a huge gulp of the morning air, Kesy returned inside, where Wilfred was bouncing happily on the mantel over the fireplace. Scooping her first creation up, Kesy placed him gently on her shoulder, tucked a lucret into her hat, and, bending the tip, stepped out into the morning.

* * *

Jack had been up at the crack of dawn, when the Mayor began ringing his doorbell with a stack of proposals and ideas for next Halloween. The revenues from the move had begun coming in, and the total was overwhelming. Originally Mr. Burton had predicted that the movie would make a modest but still useful amount of money, but in reality, the movie had been wildly popular and Jack was currently looking over a merchandise contract, his eye sockets glazing over with boredom.

The Mayor had left about three hours ago, needing to go about his business as a political official. No one knew what that business was: it was a secret privy only to the Mayor, if the Mayor himself even knew.

Jack stood up and stretched, which was a bit unnecessary, he being made of bones and all with no actual muscles to cramp. It was mostly a force of habit.

Deciding that he could afford a little break to walk about town and check up on folks, Jack stepped outside and slithered through the gates, not once unlocking them.

Finding himself in the center of town, Jack was soon pulled into a conversation with the Swamp Woman, whom Jack was sure was hitting on him.

Excusing himself as soon as it was politely possible, Jack moved quickly toward the town gates, intending to go into the cemetery. A familiar sight stopped him.

A woman in black was listening to the trio of musicians. She was dancing a little bit, most of it in the shoulder and her hips. The thing about her that captured his attention, however, was the little ball of pink fuzz bouncing on her hat.

"Good morning, Kesy," Jack said with a smile, making the witch jump slightly.

"G'afternoon, Jack!" Kesy responded, nearly dislodging Wilfred by turning her head too swiftly.

"All ready? Hm. I suppose that's what paperwork will do to you. How are you feeling?"

"Well, I'm tired, hungry, sore, hoarse, and six bat wings richer. Not too bad, really. You?"

"A bit bored, really." Kesy looked flabbergasted.

"Bored? How could anyone be bored here? There's something new everywhere! Why, just in the gutter on Dead Man's Scream, there's a-"

"Beheaded carcass. Yes, I know. The head is somewhere around here…"

"Butbutbut…In the Town Hall, there's a-"

"Dead girl hanging by her neck claiming to be unable to get down? Again, I know. I think that the werewolf put her there to get her sober after she'd gotten too drunk. It's a nice location, though…"

"But floating in the fountain and appearing every other twenty minutes-"

"There's some unpleasantness behind that, let's not get into it…"

"But there's a tree with skeletons hanging from it, reading!" Jack finally looked interested.

"What are they reading?" he asked.

Kesy squeezed her eyes shut, trying to remember. "Something about a torrid affair," she finally said.

"That is usual," Jack admitted.

Kesy glanced at the clock on the Town Hall. "Oh, I ought to get home! Need to cook something with vegetables…lots of vegetables. By the way, do you know a good restaurant?"

Jack thought briefly. "You might want to check the Wolf's Head Pub. They make a mean eye of newt sandwich." The Pumpkin King grinned. "You'd love it."

Kesy felt her lips twitching; his smile was contagious. "Thanks! I'll try there sometime. See you around!"

The witch started walking away, then stopped abruptly. She fished something out of her pocket.

"Catch!" she said, tossing a little yellow ball in the air toward Jack. "It's a present for showing me around. Its name is Unmercia. Thought it'd been a good friend for Zero. Stroke its fur twice."

Jack did so, and the little ball of fuzz instantly perked up, sniffing him and growling in a friendly way.

"Thank you…" Jack said, but the witch was already across the plaza, dancing a little bit to the beat of the street music.

* * *

**There ya go. I'm totally dry...I need a vacation. But fear not! The story isn't even within stick throwing distance of being over. I gots more! Yay!**

**Review, please. **

**P.S. Tihs is a slily ltitle way of geussing if you're atculaly raeidng, or if you're jsut hmuornig me. Deos it look fnnuy? Rveiew!**


	6. The Fanservice Chapter

**Well, folks, I gots good news, and I gots bad news.**

**First the good news: I have updated! Whoot!**

**Now, the bad news: It's really short. This is not a good excuse for any persons (they know who they are) to write a short seond chapter. I've been doind a lot of longish chapters lately, and dammit, I'm tired. If you want to whine about it, go somewhere else! Remember the Golden Rule: **

**No sniveling.**

**And now, the disappointing and vaguely scary news: This chapter contains fanservice. (I have highlighted it to make it easier to find.) **

**Yes, ladies, gentlemen, and...otherwise, I have gotten a review declaring that Kesy in not in love with Jack, but is rather in love with...(guck...do you know how badly this is screwing up my artistic vision?) Wilfred, the pom-pom. This, ladies, gentlemen, and otherwise, is called ****bestiality, and I will not stand by it!**

**Then I thought, "what the heck; let the baby have his bottle." Thus, the fanservice. **

**And just to make it clear as day and discourage anybody who thinks "Wow, cool pairing; do another, Semine!": KESY IS IN LOVE WITH JACK AND WILFRED IS HER PET. SHE LOVES WILFRED AS ONE LOVES AN IGUANA: FRIEND AND FAMILY LOVE, BECAUSE HUMAN-IGUANA SEX IS VERY SCARY. KESY DOES NOT FEEL FOR WILFRED AS SHE DOES FOR JACK, AND I WILL PERSONALLY DOPE-SLAP ANYBODY WHO SAYS OTHERWISE. CAPESH?  
**

**I get a little worked up over that. There will be no more fanservice. At least, not without me fighting tooth and nail to avoid it, or if Kali pisses me off, in which case: hell, she deserves it! All of which are possible; just don't hold your breath.**

**So, enjoy the uber-short chappie!**

**Roll it, Louie!  
****

* * *

** Kesy ran her palms down the wooden shutters outside of her house, wondering for the eightieth time if there was anyway to reject the overpowering urge that was taking over her body. She gently closed the shutters, and turned back around, walking inside.

She then closed all of the drapes in the house, locked all of the doors, and placed a "Closed" sign in one of her windows. Then, Kesy pulled on an apron, rolled up her sleeves, and went to work.

She reasoned that it would take an hour and a half to make, forty minutes to bake, and ten minutes to cool. Her inner elfish instincts puzzled it out, and came up with a satisfying conclusion.

* * *

The Terror Scouts knocked on the dark wooden door. They got no response, so they rang the doorbell. Suddenly, a bent telescopic eye popped from the door and swiveled madly before settling on the two children. They didn't so much as blink in terror. Every third eye hole in the doors on this street did that. 

"What do you want?" an unsteady, high-pitched voice requested cruelly.

"Greetings! We are representatives from the Terror Scouts," said a small blue bat with huge wings yipped. "Would you like to purchase a calendar?"

"No. Leave me," the voice growled, the telescopic eye snapping back into place in the door.

The bat turned to the mummy that stood beside him. "Great! Mark that one down! We'll get that Alienation Badge for sure!"

* * *

'That was close.' 

Kesy leaned against her front door, reluctantly allowing the fragrance coming from her kitchen to fold around her. Her arms ached and there was nothing the witch wanted more than to curl up on her sofa.

'It's horrifying,' a desperate, unsure voice in her head whispered. 'You know it is. Just…relax.' Kesy deeply inhaled the scent, a smile lazily curving her lips. She wiped it off and scowled, kicking at the floor.

Wilfred yipped on the mantel. _**Planting a quick kiss on the small pink pom-pom, Kesy returned to the kitchen.**_

She peered into the oven and gazed at her creations. They would fetch her a pretty penny on looks alone.

Taking another huge breath of the aroma coming from the oven, Kesy sighed.

"That's a _damn_ fine fruitcake."

* * *

**Well there you go. Fruitcake is teh ebil. (Yes, I spelled all of that right. Go cry in a bowl of meat if you don't like it.) **

**Review please! **


	7. Angst and Dating

**Okie-dokie. I need to explain why this is so late.**

**I have not been a happy camper. In fact, the majority of my weeknights have passed with me sobbing face-down in my pillows, so sleep has not been a major factor in the writing of this chappie. And I'm using the root word of "major" so much that it's bordering on Valley-girl-ism. **

**So why is it late? Loyal readers, in a nutshell, I have been too freakin' emo lately and need to cheer up. The Flaming Lips have done there best to help. And if I don't feel any happiness at all, I don't write. That's all. **

**Somehow I managed to perk up to write this, so there ya go.**

Please forgive the lateness and enjoy a decent-sized chapter! 

**Roll it, Louie!

* * *

**For the first time in the recorded history of _anything_, fruitcake made a person wildly successful.

They were flying out of the oven, off the shelves, and through windows. The children decapitated each other with them, seeing as they were stone hard. The Terror Scouts named a brick of it troop leader for sheer terror capacity.

Kesy was absolutely thrilled. The fruitcake had made her one of the most prominent business…creatures in Halloweentown, and she was now the proud owner of the house that she had once rented. Christmas had come and gone, and her fruitcake freak-out was over. However, seeing how well her little gems of horror were selling and how no one else had had the recipe written, whether in cookbooks or in their genetic code (as she did), she rolled up her sleeves and stayed in the kitchen for a large portion of her days.

At night, she made pom-poms, carefully winding each precious ball of man-eating flesh into existence, and even more carefully enchanting and christening each one.

* * *

The story of her success had quickly reached Jack's ears. When he didn't see her in town for two weeks straight, he began to wonder what she was up to. Deciding to pay her a visit, the Pumpkin King wandered through the Residential Area and finally found her house after asking the neighborhood nicely three times to let him in. 

Red and green smoke was pouring out of the chimney, with little firework sparkles bursting every few seconds. Pom-poms tied to stakes in the front yarn napped or yipped at the passerby, looking so distorted and terrifying that the majority of the bystanders made a mental note to come back when the Closed sign wasn't up.

Jack knocked on the door.

"We're closed," Kesy's voice shouted, as if from far away.

"It's Jack," he yelled back, and waited for the witch to reply.

"No royalty discounts!" she shouted back, sounding as if she was smiling.

"May I come in?"

"The door's open!"

The Pumpkin King stepped inside, thinking that the door was most certainly not open if he had to turn the handle and push to get inside. He found himself in a large room, most likely the parlor. Red wood paneling, flooring, and bookshelves and brown carpets and furniture lead up to a magnificent fireplace that was clearly the main attraction. Pom-poms of every size and color imaginable were either lying dormant or bouncing quietly to themselves in the room. A long wooden staircase was to Jack's left.

It seemed to be a strange place for a witch to live, since it was in good repair and nicely decorated. There was not a broken stair or spider web in sight.

"I'm in the kitchen!" Kesy called, and Jack followed her voice through a doorway on the other side of the living room.

"Hi!" she exclaimed as Jack entered.

The kitchen was in good repair, too. A huge iron stove and sink stood to the left, flat against the wall in an attempt to give the patrons of the kitchen some room. A potbelly stove and an icebox stood to the side, and a large oak table stood in the middle of the room. Perched on one of the wooden chairs was the witch.

Her hair had been thrown up in a messy bun and she had the fanatical, lopsided grin that all inventors wear at some point. A huge spell book lay in her lap.

"I hear that you've become one of the most prominent shopkeepers in Halloweentown. Congratulations!" Jack said as Kesy waved him to a seat.

"Uh-huh! I couldn't be happier! And to think, mere weeks ago I was shorter than a spell book!" Kesy said, laughing and bringing out the dark circles around her eyes.

"Are you getting any sleep?" Jack said, recognizing the circles to be similar to the one he got around his eye sockets when he worked too hard for too long.

"Er…I take a nap now and again," Kesy said, clearly uncomfortable with the subject.

"I'll take that as a no."

"So how are you holding up?" the witch asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Well enough. Only 48 weeks, 2 days, 14 hours, 38-no, 39 minutes until next Halloween, you know."

"Yay. I can't wait until it comes around again!" A short silence grew between the two, the sort that eventually pops up when two people have been talking about absolutely nothing for several minutes. Jack weighed his options, and took the plunge.

"Kesy?" Jack asked carefully, unhappily aware of the risk he was taking.

"Yes, Jack?" the witch replied, her innocent green eyes urging him forward.

"Well… I was wondering, if business isn't too booming right now, if you'd…ah, like to have dinner with me Friday night?" Jack finally said, inwardly wincing at his inability to sound sophisticated. Kesy looked blank, her eyes unreadable.

"You mean," she said at length, "like a date?" The witch's head was reeling. She was confused but very, very hopeful. As a result, her voice came out in a short, high-pitched squeak.

"Yes," Jack said simply, deciding that to mince words at this point would be like throwing a gallon of salty lemon juice in a large, gaping wound.

"Oh, well…I mean, yes, sure, of course!" Kesy said, her own lips mutinying her and her tongue siding with the rebels.

Jack took a moment to realize that she'd said yes, and quickly moved in for the proverbial kill. "All right, why don't I pick you up at six o'clock? We can go to the werewolf's pub."

"That sounds nice, Jack," Kesy replied softly, her usual sharp tone wiped away. She stood up to show her gentleman friend to the door.

As he stepped out onto the porch, Jack remembered something. He turned back to the witch.

"By the way, Unmercia is doing very well and she and Zero get along great. But for you," he said, smiling and pointing a bony finger at her, "you are to get some sleep."

"Under order of the king, I expect?" Kesy said, her normal tone back, an eyebrow raised.

"Precisely. Six o'clock on Friday, then," Jack said, hiding his slight nervousness with all his might.

"Very good. See you, Jack," Kesy said, and as the Pumpkin King stepped off her porch, shut the door and let out a squeal sounding suspiciously like that of a fangirl. She scooped Wilfred up and spun around, landing on her sofa and giggling happily. Her pom-pom yipped and hopped over to the coffee table.

"I've got a date, I've got a date," the witch sing-songed. Luckily for her sanity, a timer went off in the kitchen and Kesy scooped out the fruitcakes. Seeing that they were perfectly baked, she set them on the counter to cool and climbed up the stairs to her bedroom, where she fell on the bed and didn't move for twelve hours.

* * *

**So there you go. Kesy got herself a date! Who knew it could happen?**

**Please review. I need the cheer, seeing as it sure ain't the holidays in Midnight-land yet. **


	8. An End to All Things

**Huzzah! The final chapter! I figure that you don't really wanna hear from me, so here we go!**

**Roll it, Louie!

* * *

**Kesy stood in front of the hall mirror, fiddling with her hat. She tilted it to the right, to the left, the right again, further right, and then gave up. Tossing it up in the air, she caught it on her head. It tilted to the left and ended up looking rather fetching. That decided, the witch gazed at the clock and proceeded to hop front foot to foot.

There were significantly fewer pom-poms in the living room now. Some of them were long-term pets, designed to live for about three years, while others were one-use, predominantly for scaring on Halloween or on birthdays. Wilfred, however, remained with his mistress, although he had lately taken to hunting the bats that flew down the chimney. He was currently covered with soot, belching, and rather pleased with himself.

Kesy mentally rattled off everything she had to do. 'Oven's off…store's closed…hat's tilted…dress…' she looked down at herself, 'black…fruitcakes caged…'

Her doorbell rang, and Kesy ripped her tilted hat off her head and hyperventilated into it, walking towards the door as she did so.

Jack was not faring much better. Zero had to bark to remind him that he was walking into a broom cupboard and not the front door twice that morning. He was nervous, and was thankful that he didn't have nerves, or he'd be shaking.

Kesy opened the door slowly, peering around the corner of the wood. Plunking her hat on her head, she opened the door fully and smiled. "Hello, Jack! Very prompt, aren't you?"

"Good evening, Kesy. Are you ready to go?" the Pumpkin King asked, heartened by the fact that the witch was twitching slightly. It was good to know that he wasn't alone in his nervousness.

The witch nodded, pocketed her house key, and blew Wilfred a kiss. The pom-pom yipped the yarn equivalent of "Good bye!"

Jack and Kesy walked along the street, both lost in their own thoughts.

"Jack, what…" Kesy finally began, "what's this place like?"

"It's very nice. I'm sure you'll get a charge out of it. There's a bar side, but the rest of the place is like a restaurant. They mostly serve sandwiches, but they make a great home-y food, too. I noticed that you've got precious few pom-poms left. Business is booming?"

"Oh yes! They're flying off the shelves…knew I shouldn't have given them wings. But I'm working on a prototype for entire creatures made out of the little fuzz-balls. When someone recites a spell, they split apart and terrify whatever the target is. I'm working on a cat right now, but it only splits into clumps."

"How cost efficient! Many tools for the price of one!"

"Well, the price of many, actually," Kesy said, laughing.

Soon, they arrived at the pub. Jack held the door open for Kesy, and she stepped in, thoroughly unprepared for what lay ahead.

The first thing she noticed was that there was an astoundingly old and completely dead tree growing out of the middle of the floor. A dartboard was nailed to it. To the left of the tree, a long, improbably shaped bar stood, the liquor cabinets made of coffins and decorated with skulls. Barstools (some with nails sticking out the seat, some without) sat next to the bar, tilted and leaning like drunkards.

On the other side of the pub, tables adorned with simple black tablecloths stood. Chairs made of bones were tucked underneath, looking both fragile and dangerous. A large orange window decorated with a swirling design made out of dead vines sat near the west to catch the lingering afternoon sunlight. The rest of the walls were decorated similarly, but without the window.

"Wow," the witch breathed, "this is really…creepy."

"I know! Great, isn't it?" Jack responded, and Kesy grinned.

A rat in a waiter's uniform led them to their table, dragging a single menu in his teeth. After giving it to Kesy, the rat passed out from overexertion.

"You go ahead," Jack said, "I know exactly what I'm going to have."

Kesy gazed at the menu in a complete state of wonderment. 'Snake Blood Fritters…Eye of Newt Sandwiches…ooh, Liver of Bat Soup…Spider-Web Spaghetti…' Turning to the beverages, she tried to find the difference between red, white, and blush blood wine. She finally asked Jack.

"Red blood wine is ordinary blood wine, white blood wine is made up completely of white blood cells (that's very rare, mind you) and blush blood wine is from the face," Jack replied.

Something deep inside Kesy told her that she should be horrified and repulsed, but she felt neither. Instead, she gave a completely sincere, "Yum." Deciding on the Murderous Swamp Gumbo and a cup of Hemlock Tea, the witch put the menu down to see that a teenage zombie was looking at them expectantly.

Jack ordered the Muskrat Steak and a glass of mulled cider. Kesy returned the menu to the waiter, who swiftly left. After a moment's hesitation, she scooped the rat waiter up off of the floor and dunked him in her glass of water, jolting him awake. He scurried off, and Jack laughed.

"He was going to get trod on," Kesy said in defense, fighting a smile that was threatening to break out over her face.

"That was very noble," Jack said, grinning. The two simply sat and talked of everything and nothing until their food came. Each sampled the other's meal, and decided that Jack's Muskrat Steak was better than Kesy's Murderous Swamp Jumbo, which the witch had to cut up with a knife and fork to keep it from trying to eat her.

After paying the bill, the two strolled toward the graveyard, which Kesy admitted to only seeing once or twice. The thin crescent moon spread a fitful light over the expansive cemetery, and Jack pointed out one or two of the more notable headstones.

Kesy became quickly enchanted by the spiral hill, and stood on the top, turning 360˚ so that she could see the entire graveyard. The weak silver light made the grim place glow silver, and the witch felt thoroughly at peace. Soon, she noticed that Jack was gone.

Looking around with narrowed eyes, Kesy moved carefully, slowly through the graveyard, determined not to be scared. Sometimes she'd catch a glimpse of the moonlight shining off of what looked like Jack's skull, or the rustle of dead leaves. The witch spoke to herself to calm down.

"Okay…just relax, old girl. He's just trying to scare you. No worries…" the witch muttered, her eyes darting around nervously.

Suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Her head whipped around, to see that nothing was there. Turning slowly, she let out a yelp, finding herself centimeters from Jack's face.

"Boo," the Pumpkin King said with an insane grin. Kesy bared her teeth, and moved as if to tackle him, but he ducked away.

"Get back here!" the witch exclaimed, darting after the King of Halloween through the graveyard, dead set on revenge. Their ghostly laughter echoed over the hills.

* * *

Later, after Kesy had wholloped Jack to her satisfaction, they returned Kesy's home, both grinning like maniacs. 

"I had a great time, Jack," Kesy said, looking back at the direction they had come from.

"Me, too," Jack said simply. "Can I see you again sometime?"

"Jack? I live in the same town as you," Kesy replied, raising an eyebrow, her strange smile still on her face.

"Yes, but…you know what I mean," Jack said, rolling his eye sockets.

"Of course, Jack. I'd love to have dinner with you again." Kesy gave the Pumpkin King a hug, and, after looking left and right, pecked him swiftly on the place where his lips would have been.

Suddenly shy, the witch made to go into her house, but Jack, who had been in a state of shock, quickly grabbed her and kissed her properly.

* * *

Three minutes later, an extraordinarily dazed and happy witch entered her home and hung her hat on the coat rack. She then went into the kitchen and scrawled on the notepad on the table, _Jack, 7 o'clock Wednesday, Supper_.

* * *

**Okay, in case you couldn't figure out the last bit, it means that she's gonna see him again.**

**There you have it, folks! After all is said and done with this contest-doolie, I might write some more of these two. I make no promises, though! Thank yous go to all that reviews, punches to all that didn't!  
**

**Review please!**

**Until next time: my minions, my friends, this is Semine, signing off! **


	9. Extra Stuffs for Mah Fans

**Okerie-dokie. I've had this buzzing around my head for a while. And since I can't put up a new story until_ someone_ (coughcoughKalicoughcough**) **finishes her fourth story, I needed to write something to chill myself out. That being the case, I decided to put this up. Yay. **

**Roll it, Louie!

* * *

**Kesy strolled toward the main area of Halloweentown, Wilfred on her shoulder, still glowing with delight after her date with the Pumpkin King. Suddenly, her pointed ears picked up a familiar name and she whirled around.

A witch, a devil, and a skeleton were standing on a corner, singing a song, each wearing a sharp-toothed smile and gesturing to the hat that lay on the sidewalk. A few bat wings rested within the hat.

Kidnap the Sandy Claws  
Lock him up real tight!   
Throw away the key and then  
Turn off all the lights!

Kesy knew the name sounded familiar. She searched the back of her mind, certain that she knew no one named Sandy Claws. Why was it so familiar?

The tiny witch took a small step forward to separate herself from her cohorts.

**First, we're going to set some bait  
Inside a nasty trap and wait!  
When he comes a-sniffing we will  
Snap the trap and close the gate!  
**  
Then the devil stepped forward. Kesy walked over toward the meager crowd that had gathered.

**Wait, I've got a better plan  
To catch this big red lobster man!  
Let's pop him in a boiling pot  
And when he's done we'll butter him up!**

Now they all sang together.

**Kidnap the Sandy Claws  
Throw him in a box!  
Bury him for ninety years   
Then see if he talks!  
**  
**I say that we take a cannon   
Aim it at his door and then  
Knock three times, and when he answers  
Sandy Claws will be no more!  
**  
Kesy's memory jolted into action. She stood stock still while her mind buzzed, snippets of red and green and "ho, ho, ho" and cookies and stockings and Christmas trees bounced around in her head. Sandy Claws. Santa Claus. Her grandfather. Boiled? Over her dead body!

"Wilfred!" Kesy whispered hastily. "Sic 'em, boy!"

As the witch waltzed away, hearing the surprised cries of the troublemakers, she cackled. Wilfred bounced up to her shortly, a tiny smear of blood on his fuzzy mug.

"G'boy!" the witch whispered lovingly. Wilfred took his residence on her shoulder again, and Kesy continued down the street, feeling the tips of her pointed ears.

'Now we're even, Granda,' Kesy thought as she waved at one of her customers.

* * *

**It ish teh short and teh silly. But it's kind of a one-shot. Explainy time of explainifulness:**

**-Kesy is the granddaughter of Santa Claus. Duh.**

**-Although Kesy isn't fond of Christmas, she does love her grandfather. Thus, the beating up of Boogie's Boys.**

**-Wilfred did not kill them. That adorable little ball of fuzz just roughed 'em up a bit.**

**Originally, Kesy whapped 'em wif a stick; this may come to pass. However, if _someone_ (coughcoughKalicoughcough) doesn't finish her fourth story soon, I might not put up the whap-wif-a-stick version. Pester her to finish and I shall write the whap-wif-a-stick version. 'Tis mushy Jack-lurves-his-Kesy nonsense, but still...it features a good ol' fashioned stick whapping!**

**Review please! Don't forget: pester Kali and I shall put up the whap-wif-a-stick thing!**

**Post Scriptum: If you want to see what Kesy looks like, go to the Ms. Donovan and Ms. Midnight profile. Scroll down, and cut and paste the link at the bottom of the quotes into your search bar. That will lead to my picture of Kesy McClaw and Wilfred (for those of you who adovcate the Kesy/Wilfred pairing...you know who you are ((cracks knuckles)))! **

**Review please! **


	10. Extra Stuffs for Mah Fans II

**Made a promise. Got bored. Decided to keep it for something to do. Am snippy and in need of lurve.  
**

**Please refer to the last few sentences of Chapter 7 to understand the time frame, and for those just coming in, please refer to Chapter 1 to understand what the heck is going on. **

**Yep...yep. That's all I got. Enjoy!**

**Roll it, Louie! (Oh, wait; before I forget, someone asked me who Louie was. Louie is a dude in my head that runs the movie-theater-movie-playing thing (forgot the real name of the thing) that plays out what happens next in a story I'm writing. I then write down what Louie played for me. So when I say, "Roll it, Louie," I mean for Louie to play it for the rest of you. See? Psychological-ical-icallity-cal.)**

* * *

Jack leaned back in his desk chair, fiddling with a fountain pen and staring forlornly at the small stack of contracts next to him. Zero snoozed beside him in the late afternoon sun, almost completely invisible. His nose blinked on and off in rapid succession.

Zero's, not Jack's.

For once the contracts were about Halloween, not about the movie. This was a refreshing change, seeing as there had been nothing but contracts for merchandise and royalties and such nonsense that was wonderful in moderation, but rather depressing and annoying otherwise.

That somehow did not make the contracts for Halloween any less appealing. Regardless, the Pumpkin King toiled on.

A half an hour later, Jack stood up and stretched. He gazed at the clock next to his bed, and saw that it was 6:53. PM. On Wednesday.

After uttering a most ungentlemanly phrase, Jack swept through the house, straightening his rumpled suit, snatching a bat from the rafters to replace the tie he had mislaid, and plucking a small withered rose from the bouquet on the kitchen table. With a call of farewell to Zero, Jack shut his front door, locked it, and rushed (elegantly) down the front steps.

* * *

Kesy stood back from the oven and took a quick look at the dining room, which was adjacent to the kitchen. The roast beast (so beastly that she wasn't sure that it hadn't been one of her neighbors at some point) stood proudly in the middle of the dark wood table. Two tall black candles stood solemnly, ready to be lit, next to the mashed mandrake roots. The boiled Scream Stalks laid (silently) in a rectangular china dish. All that was missing was the guest of honor…and the mulled wine he had volunteered to bring. 

The witch smoothed down the front of her silky black dress and checked on the fruitcake that was baking in the oven again. It was the right combination of hot and hard, so she whipped it out and set it on a rack to cool.

As she moved out into the hallway so that she would be able to greet her guest as soon as he arrived, she glimpsed at the dark circles underneath her eyes in the speaking mirror that was nailed to the wall.

"_You look wretched, dearie_," the mirror said, its Oxford accent making the sentence sound more insulting.

"Thank you for giving us your unwanted statement of the obvious, Lady Observant. Send my regards to everyone at Castle Duh," Kesy replied, waspish about anyone comment on her appearance in a less than admiring way.

It had not been a good day. When a preening Wilfred had licked her awake at about 5 AM, she found that her bed was full of dead bats. Ordinarily this sort of gift was cause for the pink pom-pom to receive a big kiss, but since she had mislaid her best cauldron, there was nothing to do for the carcasses but toss them in the icebox, where they would stay fresh for a few days, if she was lucky.

Later, she came out to her backyard to find the cauldron three-quarters of the way buried in the dirt. When she managed to unearth it, she found that the interior had been spray-painted a most unflattering shade of pink.

After cleaning out the pot, she and Wilfred had wandered out to town to find that the Crispy Roach (specializing in Halloween delicacies) was completely out of hellebore roots, so she had to purchase mandrake roots, which were good, but not the best quality.

When she found Lock, Shock, and Barrel walking down the street in front of her with telltale pink splotches on their hand, Kesy completely snapped and raced through town after them, brandishing a stick. They eventually slipped into the graveyard and she couldn't follow any further.

So the witch was looking forward to the company of her gentleman friend this evening. But now it was 7:04, and she'd never know him to be late. She wondered what was keeping him.

* * *

Jack, meanwhile, was just coming up to Kesy's neighborhood in the Residential Area. He had the nagging feeling that he had left something amiss, but he chalked it up be being too rushed to be properly nervous earlier that evening. 

He rang the doorbell and the door flew open a half second afterward. 'Oh, great,' he thought, 'she's been waiting for me.'

Then he noticed the lady in front of him. Her smooth, spotless dress made him feel even more rumpled. However, her tired, if pleased, smile and dark-circled eyes caused him to smile and give the witch an unexpected hug. She hugged back.

"Good to see you, Jack," Kesy said softly, leaning into the bone man's embrace.

"Hi," Jack simply said.

Bringing forth an incredible amount of self-control, Kesy disentangled herself and closed the door. She then ushered Jack into the dining room.

As her date pulled out her chair for her, Kesy asked softly, "Jack, where's the wine?"

She never knew that the Pumpkin King knew such colorful phrases.

* * *

**Yes, the ending is dinky: I am aware of this.**

**Yay, whap-wif-a-stick!**

**Please review. Ah am so lonely!**

**Happy New Whatever-The-Frick-This-Holiday-Happens-To-Be.  
**


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